My polymer clay group made the TV news again yesterday. This time the local Telemundo affiliate interviewed me for a Spanish version of last week's Bottles of Hope story. Here's the new story (in Spanish), and here's a photo of the angel bottle I made during the filming. (A couple of my other bottles were featured too.)
I suppose I should clarify, though. I didn't actually make that angel bottle during filming. There are several shots of me working on an angel bottle... but the angel bottle I worked on there got wadded up into a ball of clay before I left the building.
A couple of the other folks making bottles got wide-eyed when I disassembled it, and asked what I was doing. I didn't realize til I got home what a jerk I must have looked like. There we were, decorating bottles for cancer patients, and I rip mine apart as soon as the camera crew leaves.
It's not like it looked, though, honest. It's just that I'm not a public crafter. No matter what I do, I just can't seem to be happy crafting anyplace but home.
This time I tried really hard. Knowing that I have trouble thinking of ideas when I'm on the spot, surrounded by other people, I planned a project ahead of time. I even took along pictures of an inspiration piece in case I needed to reference it. Having the project picked out helped me with the other thing I tend to have trouble with — taking the right supplies. Since I knew what my project was, I had a general idea of what tools I'd need. (Too bad I got in a hurry and forgot a couple of those.) I even made an ambitious goal to try to keep myself on track: I was going to finish not just one, but two bottles while we were there.
But even after all that, I still couldn't do it. I got flustered when I realized I'd left my clay blade at home (it somehow didn't occur to me to borrow one of several others in the room). I hadn't brought enough beige clay and didn't like the replacement color I mixed up. But mostly, things just weren't looking right. The skirt didn't drape nicely. The wings weren't pretty enough. I felt like if I were at home using my own tools on my own desk, I could get it right. And so, like I've done at so many guild meetings and other public crafting sessions, I left without having created a thing.
It's not that I don't enjoy crafty get-togethers. I love being around other creatives, watching their process and absorbing their conversations. But I just don't create well in that situation. Maybe it's performance anxiety. Maybe it's perfectionism. For whatever reason, though, I prefer to do my creating in my own comfy little craft room, where I can really dig into a project and do it just right.
So is this just me? I'm curious what the rest of you think of crafting in public...?